Canada Killed My iPod

Alright, so I've had time to settle in with this whole data usage BS that looks to have besieged the country and have decided to share my player behaviour results. An odd thing has happened, and I've been discovering I'm not the only one; Apple you might want to pay attention to this next proclamation but:

Canada killed my iPod

It is now a useless pile of tech that I persistently forget to charge from lack of use. With data usage bearing down on me, I can't afford to download apps left right and centre like I used to and my iPod has been discarded due to this one little issue:

*It is not powerful enough to pick up the neighbours wifi unlike my tablet which can pick up six wifi signals and connect to two of them.

So what I did to help the non-linear readers visualise this problem, I created nifty pie charts to show my shift in tech usage in relation to game playing since returning to Canada. Enjoy!

 I call this one the hungry hippo chart!

So in the UK where data usage was a buffet fit for a king, I was eager to eat up as many games as possible. Maximise my exposure and dig right in! Like Hungry Hungry Hippos it was a race to play as much as possible on as many things as possible.

*I call this one the Pac-Man chart!

Now in Canada where data usage is limited I only go after little chunks of data when I play games and don't want to risk going over my limit by downloading or updating a dozen or two games all the time. Just like Pac-Man I'm creeping about picking at things and only tactfully going after the power pellet when it's really worth it.

This has also has an extreme impact on the amount of games I play with my primary focus these days being low budget browser based FB games that won't eat down my data usage. I feel so alone... Alone, cold and locked out of a world I love so uber muchly.

I used to play a dozen games at a time. Every night spending a couple of hours checking in with them all, collecting my dailies and progressing a few steps. Since coming back I have bid farewell to: Clash of Clans, Zombie Jombie (not that they were doing anything with that anymore), Haypi Kingdom, Tiny Farm, World of Magic, Steam and Core Online to name a few.

I'm playing Hellfire and Puzzles & Dragon (on my tablet)...

I'm playing Candy Crush Saga, Mousehunt, Here Be Monsters and Plants vs Zombies Adventures on Facebook...

Instead of going outside to play my games, I am now going outside to admire the barren back yard.

As I mentioned before as well, I'm not the only person who has discarded their iPod in light of these restrictions. I know other people who have told me they have no idea why they bought they their iPod as it's pretty much useless.

How many of the tech companies are losing a market because of this? Rogers, Bell, AT&T and whoever else is responsible for networks here must really have it out for the companies producing tech that requires wifi by which to function I tell you.

By the time the data usage is lifted my iPod will probably be so obsolete it won't be worth charging that one final time. :s 

Dear iPod,

You were a great friend. I loved you dearly. You entertained me during the hard times and the leisure times. Your memory has not been soiled and you will always hold a special place in my heart. Here's hoping we can once again enjoy each other's company before you need to be sent to the great tech graveyard in the sky... QQ

GAME: Tavern Quest

I chose to pick this one up on my tablet and I'm glad I did. I'm sure it's just as brilliant on smaller devices, but when it comes to battle I find the extra swiping space helps. Battle you say in a game that looks like it's cooking based by the icon, what do you mean!? It is a game called Tavern Quest by Glu in which you both run a tavern AND embark on mighty quest battles!

Lemme give you a bit of background. Our hero you see, is the dragon from the icon. Unlike the other dragons, he isn't about terrorising the citizens of the world, he's more preoccupied with cooking. Being keen and wise, he quickly realises that by opening a tavern and befriending the heroes of the realm he can get the chance to exact revenge on those who bullied him in the monster world by sending the heroes he is feeding out after them!

Build your tavern and cook your food, much like Chefville and other cooking games. Place your cooking areas and select your dish to cook based off it's time or if you require them. This is where it is not like the other cooking games. Each dish has a flavour (sometimes multiple flavours) and these flavours are what your heroes are after.

Heroes will wander in seeking sustenance of a particular calibre. If you have that flavour and the amount requested, the hero will stay and dine. They take varying lengths of time to eat, so make sure you have plenty of seating or Glu Coins to hurry them up. Once they are done you can offer them a room in your tavern to stay in (this increases with your tavern level). Once they accept the offer you can now use them for quests!

Quests sometimes require specific heroes in order to complete them. Build your standards and unlock new heroes. Each flag attracts a set and as you level up, try and keep one of each type of hero you encounter as you may need them down the road. Just make sure you don't get them killed. When you choose a quest to complete the difficulty level is denoted by a skull. The easiest quests are 1 skull hard and they only go up from there. You will have the chance to select who to take into the quest (some classes locked) so you can level up your lower level guys at times or sub in your tougher guys if required. Take your heroes in and start your campaign against the monster. 

Choose the order you send them in with. You have a tank, a ranged and a healer. Each class gets one special attack which you can pay extra Glu coins to use more then once. Advance on the enemy, push them back then watch out for their special attacks. I wasn't fully prepared for all the special attacks, but you catch on quick. Some enemies throw things (tap the projectile to destroy them), some enemies attack from above (swipe the line numerous times to cut it) and other enemies hurl things (tap the object repetitively to destroy it). There are of course in game prompts to remind you or show you what to do. Stop these special attacks before they reach your heroes or they do loads of damage.

Defeat the monster and your heroes earn experience. Experience of course results in levels! Levels power up your heroes and this is why it's important to collect one of each and not get them killed. Pretty straight forward I know. Collecting one of each also earns you Glu points and other rewards.

There are of course items in the game that can only be purchased with Glu points and will prevent you from completing quests and the such but it doesn't look finite. This isn't a wall, it's a grade (those things us farmers love to vanquish just cuz we can!).

Ways to earn Glu points:

Finish the cooking tier for an item

Complete quests (there are a few that offer Glu points here and there)

Complete the objectives and tasks

Watch videos or download other games and apps (on Android at least, we all know Apple isn't down with that normally)

Join the Glu VIP program (of course!)

So it is not impossible to get your Paladin standard and start attracting them etc.; it's just going to take longer then most people can tolerate.

So build your tavern, do your quests, cook your food, level up your heroes and exact your revenge as a bullied dragon who wishes nothing more then to express himself through his culinary endeavours. How can you not love it? The art style is quirky and personable. The character name generator is amusing and fitting. The recipes themselves are equally as amusing and you have to appreciate that some recipes look sad while cooking, indifferent when sat on the counter waiting to be served and happy once on a customers table.

It's the little things that matter really!

It is also one of the few games I play with the audio on. Very fitting and complimentary.

I very much approve of this game as it has prevented me from playing the multitude of other games I've been meaning to check out as I look into applying to different companies for employment... :s

Now...

Exploit!

There is only one exploit I have discovered in the game so far (but I've only had my hands on it a few days so far). The game doesn't take well to an 'L' shape in your tavern and you can use this during trying times to build your available dishes for a hero without letting your regular customers wear down the numbers on you.

The game is set to automatically consume and pay you for dishes when you're out of the game or off elsewhere questing etc. HOWEVER! If you are in the tavern and you build it so that there is a length of it that you can place your counters and cooking utensils in BUT keep the dining area off screen, the game doesn't automatically consume the dishes you have out unless you scroll the screen back out over your current customers.

Unless a new hero walks in (at which point the camera will pan across the tavern to the door) and you hear automatic gun fire which the sound of the game populating the tables with dishes when it realises you're looking!

Doing this can help you horde one minute recipes for a much needed hero or help you preserve dishes when you know you have another ten minutes before you can place anything new on the counter (avoiding pissing off your customers and lowering your popularity).

I am not obligated to update this class three should they choose to fix it. :)

Get It!
iOS: http://www.apple.com/itunes/download/?id=495058349
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glu.tavkeeper&hl=en

cheating VS exploiting

I want to have a quick word about the art of exploitation. Those of you that know me personally will have heard this argument before but I realise I need to get this discussion out of the way as I want to post on the various reviews if there are exploits about it.

Gaming definitions for beginners!

Cheater 

= Someone who wins through altering code or installing programs that alter code for them (this is illegal)

Exploiter 

= Someone who identifies areas of code that are missing or were never implemented and uses it to their advantage (this isn't illegal)

Cheating = Violation of Terms

Exploiting = Valid lack of boundary

Cheating = ILLEGAL

Exploiting = NOT ILLEGAL

Cheating = Stealing food from someones bag at work

Exploiting = Getting two items of food from a vending machine you noticed wasn't aligned properly and might offer the chance at a double payout (you seriously going to tell me you don't check the vending machines for this before purchasing..?)

Now that we've cleared that up, let's move on!

I have years of testing under my belt and this skill has worked to my benefit while having that job. Please developers and publishers of said games I review DON'T BAN ME PLS! I'm not breaking the code of conduct and/or the users rights agreements. I am not altering code, adding code, or messing about with code via a third party program I am simply identifying the weak points in the code given.

If I mention an exploit and it actually gets fixed, hats off. I will not do anything the game doesn't allow me to do either intentionally or by accident. With so many games being playable between devices and different medias the server cross off data and refresh capabilities of games can sometimes be easy pickings. 

If anyone takes my exploits away from me I offer you +10 respect in return and it won't cause me to slate your products but applaud your company for outsmarting me. At the heart of every farmer is the love of a challenge. We are bright and get bored easily. When we're bored, we dick around with what we have at hand. These days, that's almost always a mobile device or social game.

Quit Blaming the Games

Alright, so maybe a tactful rant as one of my primary post isn't exactly the best idea but I feel compelled to do it. I will also eventually get around to properly formatting the blog and making it look much cleaner and snappy.

Dear Parents,

Stop blaming the games for your children's problems or the problems your children create.

Unless your child is a teenager, someone had to have given them the devices and bought or downloaded that game for them. That is not the games industry's fault. This works in the same way as blaming food makers for your child being over weight. If you didn't purchase or download it for your child, find out who did.

Tablets, phablets, phones and pods require passwords. If your child hands you a device and it's asking for a password, have you not stopped to ask yourself why? Or is the device such a trusted babysitter for your child that you assume it is sentient and only has the capability to nurture, cuddle and force your child to do good?

Especially iOS devices (iPhones, iPods and iPads) request you input credit card details in order to create an iTunes account. If this doesn't strike you as a warning sign that purchases could be made at any point, put the device down. Not that Apple will trick you into making purchases, it will always politely and considerately request you confirm your purchase before proceeding. Your password will now be stored for five minutes unless otherwise specified in your settings (yes every device has settings) as Apple may be assuming that at the dear price their devices come in at most users will be in their late teens or older and have the capacity to understand the technology (unlike your children and toddlers who just like to make things happen by pushing and prodding things, like payment buttons).

For those of you who really are new to the whole mobile phenomena here's some advice:

1. Games with LITE in the title are FREE. They are shortened versions of full games, so it is a demo of sorts your child can play for a level or two. After that it will prompt them to buy the FULL version.

2. Purchased games are usually free from in app purchases. These are FULL games like you get on consoles etc. You buy a bundle of game and your child is free to play it over and over again. If there is a second version of the game or a sequel it may prompt your child to purchase it if they finish the original.

3. Freemium games are free to download and play BUT people can make in app purchases to make it easier or speed things up. My Little Pony fell into some hot water or this not that long ago because parents were inputting their passwords into their devices when requested by their children and not questioning why, racking up huge bills.

4. Temporary sale games are games that are normally purchase apps but for a short while are free to download. These are FULL games that you can find in a bargain bin. It's worth looking for them every once in while while your child is in bed or elsewhere.

Downloading things for them to play is a great idea. Don't just let your child download anything. Just because it's cute, colourful and has a catchy inch big icon that looks child friendly on the details, doesn't mean it is. Not only do I recommend you download content for them, I also recommend you play it before they do. Many of them come with multiple saves or the ability to wipe your data so they can start fresh.

Quite a few games now support chat rooms and the such these days, so if you wouldn't want your child talking to strangers outside, know if they have the capability of doing so in their games.

If you do not care what your child is doing or you aren't interested in them or their activities, this is why they have problems or will have problems. You are giving them the impression that technology and games are more interested in having fun with them then you are. If this is you, GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN, THEY DON'T RAISE THEMSELVES!

Thanks For Your Time,
slightlyNsane

Introductions

Greetings and thanks for visiting my blog!

My name is Dawn, but everyone in my gaming circles know me as slightlyNsane. I am an avid gamer who fell hard for mobile games in the early days of the iPhone and still can't get enough these many years later. What do I do for a living? Well, I'm a digital games designer oddly enough.

Designer by day and farmer by night, I scout the interwebs, app stores and play shops for challenging new experiences I can sink my teeth into and wrap my mind around. Having experience in broadcasting as well I have supplied voice work for numerous full and arcade titles over the years, primarily ambient but principal on occasion as well.

Armed with my Android tablet, iOS device and MS laptop I vow to continue my hunt for amazing entertainment and offer insight and reviews into a varied array of games that either top the charts or warm my heart for varying reasons I will gladly share.

As a farmer I enjoy freemium titles the most and have yet to spend a cent on any in app purchases. I'm a class of player the studios are well aware of, that hopes I will acquisition others for their titles if I myself refuse to become a feeder. It's a delicate balance, but this blog proves I'm more then happy to play my viral part in ensuring their games have a steady stream of new users so long as their title has something that tickles my fancy and doesn't require its players to pay to win. I'll quite happily grind and I'm sure quite a few of you who will end up reading these do as well.

I won't always give out stellar reviews. There are more then a few games that disappoint me as I press on in them, testing how long it takes me to get over the walls put in place for those who refuse to pay. One thing is for certain though, I love a game with a sense of humour, so those titles win me over fairly quickly.

It might not be a game some days but something else gaming related that I will add here and I will aim to post something every week. At times it will be daily and others it might be monthly as my schedule is quite varied. At any rate, whatever I post will hopefully be as interesting as it is insightful. So for now, fire in the hole!